In honor of the heart - Ombassador Jill Emich shares her personal exploration

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ― Brené Brown

In honor of the heart.

This is an invitation for you to explore. Make this a journaling or meditation exercise to help open your heart and make you shine.

Here is my quick synopsis.  A story within a story.  Begin within….

I sit silently and comfortably, I take 10 deep breaths and then I go inside.  My heart. The chambers. The hallways.  I venture into the rooms.

My favorite hallway of my heart-it is covered in bright rainbow colors and beautiful lighting.  It is warm and inviting. I start to look around….

First I peek into the room with my sisters.  There is a bottle of wine, and some of our favorite tunes playing. I can feel our differences, our ancient triggers but the feeling of love and lifetimes together way overpowers. Together we are so strong, so powerful.  It smells like home, like the most comfortable blanket you can imagine, wrapped around you.

I venture into my parents room, I can smell my dad’s sauce cooking, my mom’s smile lights up the space.  I feel their love and support, sometimes shown in ways that may hurt each other a little or bring up frustration but again it is always out of truth and the love overpowers.  I know and feel that they always want what is best for me, their love for me is palpable and for that I am forever grateful. I love them both so deeply.

My brother, as I enter his room, my heart feels heavy and cracked open.  To see his struggles mentally and physically and how he endures brings me to my knees. I try and remember that he chose to enter into this life with special needs, I believe this wholeheartedly. He did it to teach us about patience, about unconditional love and how to see laughter even in the struggle.  He always does.  He is an angel.

I enter my nieces room and all I hear is laughter, we dance, we sing and they tell me that I have a special place in their heart.  To know that I will know these two since their birth for as long as I live gives me so much joy.  They literally light up my life; they inspire me to be the best that I can possibly be.

The room of my beloved, it is empty.  So I take a deep breath and I enter.  I make sure the windows are open, and that fresh air and sunshine is coming in.  I set some fresh flowers out.  I am ready and in the meantime I honor what is. I give thanks for my independence.

I head down the hallway to the other chamber, deeper into the basement, the ceiling is leaking; there are cobwebs and a caution side as I enter.  I peak into the room I often try to avoid.  Disappointment, feelings of failure, fear, feeling let down, it is all there in this musty room from past experiences.  Now it is time to clean it up, to clear it out to dust, and let the light in.  So I do.  I scrub the halls and underneath the rainbow starts to glitter, the rooms start to shine and I feel acceptance, I feel forgiveness, I see that everything in those rooms led me to where I am today and the wings of my heart start to unfurl.  I am FREE.  

I invite you to go within your own heart space, into your rooms and hallways. Celebrate the joys, the laughter, the heartbreaks and the pain.  We all have it, and when we have the courage to really look at all of it, to dig in and to shine light into the dark, it unveils so many gifts.  It teaches us passion, compassion, kindness and patience, it is the spark that gives us our true essence-that makes us unique as well as connected to everything and everyone.

Thank you Heart.  Thank you for giving me the courage and the strength to endure.  Thank you for giving me wings to fly. I am forever grateful.